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Would You Like God To Speak To You?
As I look back over my life, the first I can remember picking wrong friends and the beginning of going astray was in the fifth grade. I liked my teacher, but I was a handful and I’m pretty sure she didn’t care for me. My father was unfaithful to my mother, left the family and my moral and stable world began to unravel. I see this so often in those I counsel. Over the next twenty years, I would say that my soul was morally bankrupt. I knew that there was a God and I sensed that He had a better plan for my life, I just couldn’t rise above my sin and lay hold of it. So I lived the life of a double minded man, creating a good image, but not living it. I was climbing the ladder of financial success, and people took notice and recognized it, but they didn’t see the darkness in my soul. How I wanted and needed to be freed from this darkness, but as much as I tried, I just couldn’t do it in my own strength. In college I had even moved across country to start afresh, but I fell into the same crowd- that was not the answer. After college I met a friend my age that I was drawn to because of his moral character, his name was Chuck. I thought that if I could get close to Him, maybe I would learn and grow in integrity. I thought it was a good game plan, but it didn’t really work. I couldn’t get away from being a double minded man. I could hide my sin; I just couldn’t break from it. Chuck used to witness to me by asking questions that would get me thinking about the Lord. One day he asked me if I wanted the Lord to speak to me. I was surprised by the thought, but excited by the prospect of God talking to me. I said, yes, what do I do? He said, when you have free time, like when you’re lying in bed in the morning or evening or are alone, ask Him to speak to you. Be sincere, be persistent and don’t give up. Pray and ask until you hear from Him. So I began to pursue the Lord in earnest, and I don’t remember how long it took, but my guess is that it was a few months. I think over that period of time I had my doubts that He was going to speak to me, but I kept the faith that He would answer my call. From my childhood until that present age of 30, I felt that God had a plan for my life and I was becoming more desperate to make a break from a life of selfish and Godless pursuits. One evening in September, 1987, God answered my request! I was shocked by His voice, not only in His Spirit clearly speaking to my spirit, but also in what He said! He said; “You crucified my Son.” I said, “I thought the Jews and Romans crucified your Son?” He said; “He died for your sins.” I was crushed! As I pondered the thought that it was MY sin that put Him on the cross, I was sick and devastated. I told the Lord that I was so sorry and I wept profusely. It was not until that evening that I came face to face with the consequences and gravity that my sin had on my Lord, and others. WOW, God became real and powerful to me that night (and has ever since). I had no idea where this would lead, but I was fully convinced that I needed to surrender to His sacrifice and love on my behalf. My fear of surrendering and following the Lord was taken away with four piercing and powerful words. While I didn’t fully lose my fear in making this commitment, my conviction was resolute. Crossing over to the “other side” is a fearful transaction because it is an unknown transaction at the time. What sacrifice is expected of me? What will I be giving up? What might He have me take on? These questions are very small in light of the sacrifice He made for me. I must drop my nets and my entanglements and follow my Savior. I was not familiar with walking without knowing where I was going and having control of my circumstances, but, as I thought about it, had I ever had control? No! So why not sign on with the One who actually has the control? Certainly, everything I tried on my own had failed. I can report now, 36 years later, that my Savior is far more gracious, trustworthy and loving than who I thought He was when I initially gave my heart to Him. That was by far the greatest decision I have ever made in my life. He’s not looking for our perfection, only He is perfect; He’s looking for our pursuit. Navigating this fallen world has its challenges, and favored results from a natural perspective are not guaranteed, but that’s no longer my goal. I desire to love and please my Savior and focus on being a man after His heart, while leaving and trusting conclusions to Him. Walking in love and integrity satisfies my soul in a way that it was never satisfied before. Matthew 5:6 says; “Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.” I was never filled or satisfied before I came to Christ. You can try to fill an empty heart with anything you want, but you will never be satisfied like when you fill your heart with God Himself. That’s the way He designed us, He designed us to only be filled with the true joy of His true love and purity. Everything else will leave us empty and unfulfilled, and that’s where I was! Praise God, I am there no more! Thank you Lord for answering my cry! I sure hope He’s answered yours!
Amen? Amen!