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Trevor's Testimony

I came to A Ray of Hope at what could be considered my darkest hour.  I found it after two years of running from my past mistakes.  It wasn’t until I got here, I realized I had been running from more than just my mistakes.

I had been running away from everyone and everything in my life, good and bad.  Looking back upon my past showed a two year long gap between me and everything I used to be. I was full of fear and had nothing to hope for.  I, once again, found myself sinking deeper with no reason to face the growing void in my life.  It was like I had wrapped a fabric around my face that both blindfolded myself and made me my own masked robber of opportunity. In this realization, I saw my life for what it was and began to accept it.  I was homeless and unemployed.  I was hopelessly looking for help.  This was my life cycle, to find opportunity and accept only the moment, not to plan for the future nor heal my past. Inevitably, this left me worse off each time, as I let myself down.

This time, without housing, a job or a plan, I was at the last of any will to continue to strive for growth.  I walked to the police station and pleaded to have them take me in to pay off debts that were owed to the city.  A misdemeanor warrant bought me one week of shelter and meals.  This was the last time I’d find shelter. I lost hope for my future.  I was overwhelmed with fear as to where I would stay once released.

The morning came and I was released.  With no money to my name, I walked out of the county jail and headed south.  I walked mindlessly and without purpose.  I was hopeful that one more time, I could run away from my life and this time not have it catch up to me.  I walked until my legs wanted to give out.  Even with my body aching and begging me not to continue, I allowed my tired mind to numb me as I continued.  I walked until my eyes couldn’t remain open.  With some amazing luck, I walked off the highway and towards the woods, finding a small campfire ring and wood stocked up beside it. I lit the fire, fed it well and found my rock bottom.  As I laid down only the clothes I had on cushioned me while I laid on the cold hard ground to sleep that night.

As much as I wished it had not, the sun rose the next morning, shining brightly on my face, forcing me to feel every aching muscle once again.  Threatened with another day like the last, I swung my tired legs in the other direction and walked back to town.  It was this decision to turn around that also turned around my life.

When I reached town, I went to A Ray of Hope and applied.  I had dirt on my pants and shirt and grass in my hair but I was moved by the compassion I was met with.  By the grace of God and my own pity, Rachelle, one of the house managers offered me an interview for residence.  I found hope for my future once again and a reason to continue moving forward.  This was enough to get me to walk back to my previous residency, grab some clothes left behind and clean myself up in a gas station bathroom for the interview.

This is the story that brought me here today but it far from tells the point I want to make.  This house isn’t about what brought us here, this home is about new beginnings. It’s not only because the help and support of the staff but because of the men I lived with that made this far more than a new beginning for me.  This program allowed me to close the last chapter of my life.  Closing the chapter on the past two years was like filling a void that was consuming me.  It allowed me to find myself again and to heal.

My name is Trevor and A Ray of Hope saved my life!


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