Overcoming My Battles

Before coming to Peggy's house, I was dancing with the devil daily. I was battling addiction which is a battle that not only affected me but also affected my loved ones. For me, this battle became even more difficult when I lost my son to Child Protective Services (CPS) due to my addiction. The pain and guilt of    losing my baby still haunts me every day. I remember the day CPS took him from my family as I sat in a jail cell, locked up and helpless.  It was a moment that broke my heart into a million pieces. It was a wake-up call for me, and I knew I had to fight harder to overcome my addiction.

 However, the road to recovery was not easy, and I faced numerous challenges. I was determined to turn my life around and be the best mother I could be. I turned my life and my will over to God. I did not know how that was going to turn out but I could no longer face my battles alone. God had a plan for me and that plan brought me to Peggy's house. Upon arriving Nikkia and the ladies at the house welcomed me with open arms and hearts. I soon realized, I was in the presence of angels.

  I spent my first two months at Peggy’s house without my son. He came for a couple visits but still wasn't home. My heart was breaking more and more every day. If it wasn't for Nikkia taking the extra time to be an angel in my life, I don't know how I would have gotten through it. She reminded me every day that I needed to give it to God, to be patient and understand that it would all happen in God’s time. She understood my pain in a way that is hard to explain, but she also showed me that it was a pain that was temporary. If she could get through it and be the beautiful strong, sober mother that she is, then it was something that I could achieve also.  Her and the girls at the house supported me though court dates and break downs and always continued to push me forward. They didn't realize that me sitting in bible studies, and our endless conversations was building more than my relationship with them but also my relationship with God.

  In July my son was able to come home.  When I say home, I don't just mean he was able to come back to me, he came to a stable house full of people that love him. On the daily he experiences structure, is able to be a kid, and every day sees his mom happy and thriving. Today I get to be a sober happy present mother, I get to build a life for me and my son. A life that is surrounded by the love and grace of God.  The experience of battling addiction and losing my son has taught me the importance of seeking help and never giving up. Even on my days that I feel like I am alone and that I don’t know what to do, I’m never alone. 

~Lyann